Communication in Relationships

12:01:00 AM

First, let’s just say it—relationships are hard! If you have ever heard someone say that they should all be easy and require little effort, then they haven’t experienced the good stuff yet. Some of the greatest relationships in history are the ones that are cemented in politics—Andrew and Rachael Jackson (the seventh presidential couple), Prince Albert and Queen Victoria, to name a few—because communication is the number one quality in this profession. Of course, you don’t need to be a politician to be a stellar communicator.

Communicating your feelings is key. Think about it this way, many of us aren’t mind readers or skilled in the art of deciphering facial expressions. Someone has to tell you verbally how they’re feeling in order for you to get the full picture. The reason that we need to communicate our feelings verbally is we may think that our actions, or our moods, will do the work for us but the truth is that we may be giving mixed signals. Your significant other may not know how you’re feeling about a situation if you don’t teach them. Communicating verbally is the first step in the learning process.

Understanding how to express your feelings and when. It’s important that we’re perceptive. We need to think about the other person in the equation. After all, communication is between two people and both people need to be heard. Timing and strategy are one of the number one ways fights begin. There’s no reason you need to ruin a perfectly good evening because of one small thing that can wait until later; this doesn’t mean that you push your feelings to the side or discount them in any way. If you have ever heard the phrase, ‘choose your battles,’ this is most certainly what they were talking about—just don’t forget to talk to your significant other at a more appropriate time.

Another reason you need to wait for the right time is that you don’t want to call out your other half in front of their friends or family. Don’t belittle, even if you’re not, it will feel like you’re chastising them and that can make your person feel small and humiliated. For instance, if they’ve said something unnecessary at dinner in a crowd of people—depending on the level of comment—you should probably mention it on the way home. Mentioning something after the fact when you feel threatened may be better for you so you don’t say anything too defensive and mean.

Keep your cool. Think, think and think before you respond to a serious comment or situation. The last thing you want to do in any situation is respond in an unfeeling way or not having given the proper thought out opinion. You want to make sure that any conversation you have that carries some weight with your lover should be cared for. If you care for the person you are with then please take some time to truly consider anything you will say that could hurt them. Often when people are in love, they become sensitive.


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