The new dating universe via shiver me Tinders...

11:48:00 PM

The game has changed and we have to change with it. The beauty of the human race is that we evolve to technology. Now, dating has followed suit and become digitized catalogues of potential mates. How is this accomplished you ask? Well, easy. One swipe to the right and all is well. One swipe to the left and you can basically go to from whence you came.


Have you tried it yet? 

I used to say jokingly that it would be fantastic if there was a catalogue I could mail order the perfect man from. Why deal with the slobbery drunkies at the bar when you can flip through a stack of men at your leisure? Even sitting on the toilet or on your coffee break, you too can partake in the simplicity of the digital dating universe.

It is no longer commonplace to meet someone by bumping into them in the snack aisle at Vons--no. Not all you have to do is check your inbox. Of course now more than ever, men and women will never understand each other.

All of these applications for your "smart" phones for dating have made organic dating a thing of the past. Judging someone by their profile photo and a witty three word tag line is the most you've got. So make it count, check out your matches, go on a few dates and see what happens. We have all tried it and I'm giving it a shot. The only problem is, I'm too busy too keep up with it.

These dates are fun, interesting and a little strange. You have no idea what the person on the other end of your texting thread actually looks like or if they can hold a conversation that actually involves keeping eye contact. Everyone pretends their interested in the other person to keep from telling the truth that they're just not that into the other person.

Well, of course. Yes, please. -_-

Personally, I think that each date should be accompanied by a form. The form should have the following questions available:

1. How would you rate your overall satisfaction of the conversation? On a scale of one to ten of course.

2. How would you rate your physical attraction to the person sitting across the table from you?

3. How would you rate the image you had of this person prior to meeting them, to their actual persona.... in person? You get it...

4. Would you rather split the bill and get the hell out of here before some one gets annoyed, offended or dies of boredom?

5. Are you in the slightest interested in seeing them again? Y or N.

Simple. Why then must someone say they had a wonderful time and all that jazz, kiss the cheek of the other person and promise to call when they have no intention of doing so? Cowardice. You don't need to be an ass about it but you can let them know straight up. The pain is easy to relive, just swipe and move on. Problem solved. Happy Tindering?

Check out the app here.

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  1. I tried tinder on a whim, for kicks under the influence of a friend, but with a dash of my own curiousity ... I didn't even have a smartphone! We used hers ... it was fun(ny) to flip through the profiles and see mutual friends, but I think the novelty didn't last, I don't think I'd go back to tinder! Entertaining for the time being though!

    1. It's totally a foreign space for me but I thought since everyone was trying it I might as well jump on the proverbial 'band wagon'. Seeing people you know is the weirdest part because it's not like everyone goes around discussing the fact that they have put themselves up for auction on Tinder lol. I won't say it's good or bad because you meet some cool people to balance out the not so wonderful snipes, but everyone should give it a go.


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