The Glass Ceiling? Damn you Eve.

9:14:00 PM

Picture this: Two people, a man and a woman, standing bare assed to the wind in a lovely gated garden lushly planted with the greenest grass, trees and the most delectable fruits swaying gently from the trees.    The two people are called Adam and Eve, respectfully so. Eve cannot stand Adam for more than a few moments bobbing his lovely curly chestnut brown hair about and skipping rocks on nearby stream without a care or ambition in the world--after all, it's only the two of them existing in the whole place isn't it?

Well Eve isn't having it. She neither cares for the fact that her breasts are swinging to and fro like a Basset Hounds ears (I'm aware at this point she doesn't know exactly that those will exist, but she would be thinking just that if she saw them), nor does she care for the tedium that is entertaining Adam. So nearby on a tree, hangs the most lovely apple shining in the sun. The twinkle of the luscious golden red catches her eye and calls to her. This fruit speaks volumes of knowledge from the branch on which it sits. She nears closer, turning to look for any sight of Adam but he's off snoring and scratching his balls beneath a willow somewhere. The apple calls to her, the tree beckoning her nearer with its branches and something slithers over and under the canopy of the leaves. "You can have a new life, an open mind and freedom to make your own destiny", the tree seems to call to her. She finds it odd that a voice comes from the branches but she attributes it to her mind-numbingly drab conversation with Adam consisting mainly of what's for you scurvy wench. Eve nears closer wishing for something more, more stimulation on a few different levels, for herself... she wants to grow. "Come on dearie, have a bite" a hissing comes from the tree. The serpent reveals himself, emphasis on him, and offers her freedom. Poor Eve, her mind is spoiled and the wool has been taken from her eyes to see the world outside the garden for what it truly is... mad, large and diseased. Adam and Eve are banished from the garden to feel the shame of their nakedness and to bear the burden of their newfound knowledge.

My goodness, that was a mouthful. I envision this of course to be narrated by Woody Allen, waving mad Jewish gesticulations and running his wrinkled hands through his puff of graying hair exasperated. He would say, "Well of course the woman takes the apple and has the burden of childbirth and whatnot but really... poor Adam--He's got to spend eternity with the burden of her constant nagging. So before you women get all high, mighty and feminist movement worthy, think of that." 

The glass ceiling started there, but the real message is that if they never left that garden and Eve wasn't brave enough to rick everything than we would still be single minded and stuck on an island in the middle of paradise none-the-wiser. How would we ever know what we stood to gain if we had no idea what we had to lose. So in the Garden of Eden women were only given so much slack on the leash and no vote for women even happened until the late 1930's. But now, the world is lush and green with opportunity that we have got to get off our asses and go after. I heard a woman say once, that you only get one go around in this life and you shouldn't squander it being miserable. Be happy! That's what I intend to do without worrying that men find it intimidating for strong women to make their place in the world. As far as I'm concerned those who don't value women just as much as the next man can shove it.

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