Aloneness and Single Smarts?

2:08:00 PM


We all have friends that jump from one relationship into another and the only thing that ever comes to mind is... Can they be alone, do they know how? The only reason I say this is because over the years of reading articles about this very subject of the self, people jumping from one relationship to another have not proved they can handle being alone. This goes along with the idea that someone clinging to someone else for validation or identity support. This doesn't mean this is necessarily true for everyone but for the most part it seems to hold water.

My thoughts on this idea are a little clouded because I can see the personality type in some of my friends that are serial polygamists so to speak. They can't be home alone for five minutes without making plans; it's like people are afraid with being along with themselves. Are they really that boring or terrifying? If you have never been along for a month at a time, they how will you ever know who you are enough to make sure that someone else knows how to be with you and know what you want? How can you expect another person to know what you want if you don't know?

People need to have time with themselves to explore their inner feelings, likes and dislikes, getting to the core of who they are enough to let someone else get to know them. It's the same idea as loving oneself to be able to love someone else.

On another note, what about those of us who are serial soloists? Many people, including myself, don't feel like being alone is a travesty. Do we date? Yes, we do occasionally. You name it, I have tried it. I'm comfortable with myself and love spending some me time with... me. But is being single for long periods of time put us in the same boat but on different sides with the serial daters? It's getting more difficult everyday to find someone compatible with the large list of things we do and don't want in our lives. Which is more beneficial in the end?

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